Catharsis Over Heree.

Like every promise I alawys make, it always goes unfulfilled. And it's so fucking stupid that I have to do that. Not only does it make me feel like a fucking failure but also it affects the people I make them to. Fuck it. Stupid parents bitching about driving my ass to school everyday and they chose to move this fucking far. Last time I told them it was their fault for moving they bitch slapped my face and kicked me out the car complaining how I'm so unappreciative of what they give me. It's bot that I'm unappreciative its just that if they're going to buy a house that far away, why do they fucking complain? And now its junior year, my grades are fucked, my future's fucked, and what do I have to show for it? I can't even get a social life and leave this fucking house without a damn fucking debate to persuade my parents that my grades are fine. Instead, they give a rebuttal saying I'm not supposed to have fun during junior year. And you know what I think to that? FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD. You say that I should learn and be independent and all that shit. You say you guys had such a horrible childhood and you grew from it. You say that I'm a loser. You say that I'm worse than everyone else.You say I should learn for myself. And now I'm 16, If I ask you what did you do to positively affect my life, what would you say? Don't answer. I can answer that for you. You say it's such a difficult job driving my sister and I around. You say it's a pain in the ass. You say it's such a pain in the ass to deal with kids. Why the fuck did you give birth you motherfucker. Why the fuck do you complain about being a parent? Go fuck yourselves.

Will I take the next step and take a dive into the or stand and wait for the boat to come?

After some time, a whole seven weeks, I've gone through school not caring at all. I think it's maybe time for me to take things seriously. I know I've been saying for that for a while, but for once I think it really is time. Take everything as if it's just another bitch in my way. Watch Out.

I am so behind on things. Why am I even writing a post...

I got my braces off today and that means I have a smile now. No more awkward turtle. Ha.Ha. It feels awesome to get them off so I won't be embarasses anymore when smiling with braces. Except now I noticed how I need to brush my teeth better so they turn WHITER.
After these two days, I'm getting annoyed by my work ethics and realizing that it's time to step up my game. I can't just go through school junior year bs-ing my way through. Although I have been these first 7 weeks. And so for me to finally get something done it's time to put forth some effort. That means everything.

Homecoming was a lot of fun except that it got really hot and my knees were retarded. But is was great to dance with Sean the whole time. During the pictures however, I felt stupid because I didn't know how to smile. Well, Alex didn't know how to either BUT I STILL HAD MY BRACES. So that was  a major downside to that.
Pretty awesome night, if I could do it over again, I WOULD.

~seepensir


 Sean is the best.

Maybe it's time to begin to apply myself
And so it just may be the introduction of a novella in my life.

How fast it went by and already I'm starting a new month.
I guess a bunch of things happened and sometimes I always get the feeling that I am falling behind. I mean I see friends doing this and that with their extra curriculars and all that junkthat it realy puts me down, but in some way it makes me driven to want to do something and prove to them that I am something better, but then that idea slowly dies away and then I'm back into a cycle.

That epiphany I'm waiting for still hasn't hit me yet, but I hope it will soon, or unless I force myself to have a better understanding and steal.
There's one decision I had made and I think it has shed a little more light in my life, and that choice was to be aggressive and tough in wrestling. I know I have a long way to go to make varsity but it's definitely in my reach and I will push everyone that's in my way, out. Not only am I really frustrated by my lack of determination but also by my span of intensity. Things never last long for me and it's the same for wrestling. I get good when this burst of energy comes, but when I stop, I'm like a sitting duck. But like coach says, "When it hurts, work harder." FML~